You could say I'm plastered 'cause I hit the wall
I lost count after twenty-one
In the college crawl

Well, I been a boozin' bastard
They're callin' me edward forty-hands, I can't touch anyone
With an enemy like me, who would need a friend?
Nevermind, I'm drunk

Well, we've had enough power since the blackout started
For an EKG for the broken-hearted
I try to see the glass as half full
But I'd probably just drink that too
Glass half full
I'd probably just drink that too

Well, I'm the reason they call it an Irish goodbye
And I hope I don't choke on my vomit tonight

Well, I bet that the bottle of brandy's so bitter'd
Be better than bitin' the bullet and betterin' myself
Sorry if I slur

Take my anxiety and my sobriety
I'll kill two birds with one stoner
So if you see me please, take my keys
I don't wanna be an organ donor

Well, we've had enough power since the blackout started
For an EKG for the broken-hearted
I try to see the glass as half full
But I'd probably just drink that too

Glass half full
I'd probably just drink that too

Well, I'm going down and I'm taking you with me
I'm bringing the water to the horse
So bring me the hair of the dog that bit me

So I can clone it and have a little more, haha

Well, we've had enough power since the blackout started
For an EKG for the broken-hearted
I try to see the glass as half full
Even when I'm empty, half full
I try to see the glass as half full
But I'd probably just

Glass half full
I'd probably just drink that too
I'd probably just drink that too