I took my band way across the land
But too much ass can destroy a man
See I emptied all my glands
Inside the emptiness of all my fans
I spent all of my testosterone
Givin' all my favorite fans a bone
Its hard on my hair livin' like a dog
And tonight, the devil is ridin' a hog

Night is fallin'
The curtain's callin'
My bio clock is tickin' so fast
And its gonna be

Hell toupéé
Hell toupée
Can't stand losin' my hair this way -
Hell toupée
Hell toupée
Not now - no way

Other day I was coolin' at home
Then I found myself takin' a dump
It gave me time to contemplate
The state of my hair
And its terrible fate
Spent my life fighting off the pigs
Drinking beer and a smoking cigs
blowin' gigs
Now I'm stuck Googling for wigs

Skin is glowin'
Dome is showin'
My bio clock is tickin' so fast
And its gonna be

Hell toupée
Hell toupée
Can't stand losin' my hair this way
Hell toupée
Hell toupée
Not now - no way

Hell toupée
Day by day
Always thought that my hair would stay great
Hell toupée
Hell toupée
But its way too late

Night is fallin'
Heads are rollin'
My bio clock is tickin' away
And its gonna be

Hell toupée
Hell toupée
Can't stand losin' my hair this way
Hell toupée
Hell toupée
Not now - no way

Hell toupée
Razorblade
Its genocide of my hair today
Hell toupée
Hell toupée
Don't fade away
Not now - no way