Base jumping's for pussies
Kick boxing's for thugs
Jet skiers are morons,
Weight lifters need drugs
Abseiling is pointless
Why climb up a wall?
Only right wankers
Play beach volleyball.

The X-Treme Sport you haven't tried yet
is kissing my arse.
Kiss my arse.

Met a snowboarder
Who wasn't a turd?
Nah, neither have I
The idea's absurd
You get on a plank
Slide down some slush
Fall on your arse
Say "Man, what a rush!"

I turned on the telly
I just went, like, "Whoa!"
And used the remote
To flick through the shows!
I think I'll watch footy
I know it's not x-treme
But why take it to the max
When you can take it to the mean?