Betty's in a wet T-shirt, feeling foolish and vain
Looking like some housecat that got caught out in the rain
Staring into the mirror at this less-than-pretty picture
Feeling ten years older now, and fifty bucks richer

Life is hard, can't buy happiness no matter what you do
Can't get to heaven on roller skates -- can't take a taxi cab to Timbuktu

Paul was a poor little rich boy -- he never had to cry
Whenever he complained of aches and pains the doctors would drop by
Now he goes to parties with the prettiest girls in town
They get paid five hundred dollars just to kick him when he's down

After he stiffed a waitress, and ran out on his tab
Big Mac had a heart attack in the back of a Yellow Cab
By the time the sound of the siren said the ambulance was coming
His heart had stopped beating, but the meter was still running

Ain't no escaping when the rent comes due