Ladies and Gentlemen, we present
The Bearded Lady's Follicle Follies

There's only one way
To please her
I have to pluck her
With my tweezer

If I wanna go out
'Cause the afternoon is sunny
That's when she says
"Come on, pluck me honey"

I pluck and pluck and pluck
And think I'm done and then
That's when she says
"Come on, pluck me again"

This pluck, pluck, plucking
Is a source of stress
Forget just once and
She's a plucking mess

I pluck her on a Sunday
And she looks real nice
Monday comes along and
I have to pluck her twice

Pluck her in the morning
Pluck her all the day
Pluck her in the evening
'Till there's nothing left to say

Sometimes I'm forced to wonder
"Have I just run out of luck?"
"Does she love me for me?"
"Or does she just love to get plucked?"

Just once I'd like to keep
My tweezer on the shelf
Just once I'd like to say
"Honey, pluck yourself!"

Friends say I'm such a lucky plucker
True enough, I have to say
If her beard did not grow back
I'd pluck her anyway

Well, look at her
Wouldn't you?