I'm awful sorry if she has ruined the night.
I'll get her home and out of sight.
That's my girl- the drunkest at the party.
She lost her shoe and found the rum bacardi.
There she goes- she fell down and she's bleeding,
I tried to help, she's kicking and she's screaming

The drunkest girl, that everyone hates- she with me- I'm her date
I'll drive her home (get her home, gotta get her ass home) and leave her lying on her porch.
That's my girl, cross-eyed drunk and puking,
She's down again and everybody's looking.

I'll wait till she sobers up, and when she finishin' throwing up I'll drive her home
(get her home, gotta get her ass home) and leave her lying on her porch.

[Chorus:]
That's my girl (get her home, gotta get her ass home)
Take her home (do what you can to make her leave)
She made a scene (get her home, gotta get her ass home)
She's with me (I can't believe that she's with me)
That's my girl- flirting with your husband
She threw a drink, and screamed she used to fuck him.
I don't mind her getting drunk
but I'm gonna lock her in my trunk,
and take her home (get her home, gotta get her ass home) and leave her lying on her porch.

[Chorus:]
I'll Take her home (do what you can to make her leave)
She made a scene (get her home, gotta get her ass home)
I'll take her home (do what you can to make her leave)
She's with me (I can't believe that she's with me)
That's My Girl
Bridge
She doesn't always act this way, later on she'll be OK
I apologize for all she's done, go ahead and keep her purse

The drunkest girl, that everyone hates- she with me- I'm her date I'll drive her home
(get her home, gotta get her ass home) and leave her lying on her porch.
[Chorus x2]