There's nothing like a good cough
To spread this disease
I sneak up behind old people
I do it with ease

Then I cough my guts out
Cover them with phlegm
Well that Covid-19 it's all over them
Over them I cough

I like the look on their face
I know I'm socially reprehensible
I'm a disgrace
I'm the local distributor
When they realise what I've done
I give away free samples
Now that's what I call fun

I like to cough over old people
When they're wheelchair-bound
I know it's kind of mean
I'm a bit of a hound

When I cough over old people
It gives me a thrill
Because I know that most of them
I am going to kill