Sleepin' in a van between A & B
Suckin' dick for ecstacy
Paid a 70 year old hooker to make out with me
Now the "get high shack" is just a memory

Downloading porn with Dave
Downloading porn with Dave
Put a latch on the door so Mama don't know
That I'm downloading porn with Dave

Tried to buy your love, but I came up short
So I fucked a little waitress in exchange for a snort
My girl's got a dick hangin' out of her shorts
Me and Eric in the bathroom with the weather report

Downloading porn with Dave
Downloading porn with Dave
Put a latch on the door so mama don't know
That I'm downloading porn with Dave

Baby, I know ya love the good old days
Cruisin' on the Long Island Expressway
I used to be dead, but now I'm gay
All I ever think about is drowning, drowning

Downloading porn with Dave
Downloading porn with Dave
Put a latch on the door so Mama don't know
That I'm downloading porn with Dave