Champagne drunk, tomorrow is out of luck
When the celebrations come to an end
When the party's over, Sunday morning wakes up sober
Begs for me to start up again

I'm whiskey drunk in the Shop Rite parking lot
I'm waiting while Anna buys milk and eggs
Sometimes I wonder why she hasn’t found another
One that her girlfriends would recommend

Our worst fights are when we get silent
Just a disappointed you shaking your head
When the cards and flowers don’t work
I sleep on the couch when I'm a jerk
What's gotta give, what's gotta give

‘Cause I know what you’re thinking
That I can’t stop drinking
Every time you try and ask me to
I just throw a fit and storm out of the room
‘Cause I know what you’re thinking

I'm cheap beer drunk in a bar off Passyunk
I’ll be here until the lights come up again
Feel free to join me if you’re bored or feeling lonely
I could sure use the company

I miss you so much when I was your drunk lush
You knew me so well, I knew you half as well
Love’s a cruel, cruel joke when the tools in the shed can’t fix what’s broke
So you leave it broke

‘Cause I know what you’re thinking
That I can’t stop drinking
Every time you try and ask me to
I just throw a fit and storm out of the room
‘Cause I know what you’re thinking