They were standing there together like a statue by Monet
I knew that it was over by the way she had her say
Her pockets held her glasses, her glasses held her staes
I knew that it was over by the way she combed her hair
For all my troubles, I never got to meet the mom

There never was a time when she'd given me a break
Even on our first date she hadda make me wait
With her questions out of nowhere and my answers 'bout the same
By the time I got her to the door I didn't know my name
For all my troubles, I never got to meet the mom (no never, never, no never, never)

Never got to meet the mom
Never to shake her palm
Never got to be in love
Or kiss her 'neath the stars above

Though her daughter was quite cute
With her hips and her father's loot
I like 'em older than the rest
I like 'em when they've passed the test

She needed to know everything about which side I'm on
Afghanistan, the Russians and even Vietnam
Gun control and rock'n'roll and what to do with Guam
Abortion, mob extortion and of course the neutron bomb
For all my troubles, I never got to meet the mom