If I die a lonely death
I'm sure it's from the cigarettes
I smoked each day after you left me
Standing all alone

Alone in my park avenue apartment
That smelled fresh and new
The extra set of keys from you
Are going to the maid

The maid has been my only friend
She's always there to apprehend
The dust and grime that settles in
Around the crystal vase

The crystal vase, a wedding gift
That through the years, has made the shift
What once held flowers, now holds ash
From my two packs a day

Ooh baby, she walks with a thorn in her side
Them big sunglasses on her eyes
All the uptown girls say "hi, old woman"
"I can't take another day of this", she says.
"All I wanted was a drink and a kiss
But I guess I'll just have to call on my bank
'Cause it's swiss."

She never knew no better than to follow her nose
So I ask for your forgiveness 'cause I'm part of the show
Now she's gone and all she's left with is a house full of clothes
Sometimes, madam it's okay to cry

If I die a lonely death
I'm sure it's from the cigarettes
I smoked each day after you left me
Standing all alone

Alone in my park avenue apartment
That smelled fresh and new
The extra set of keys from you
Are going to the maid

Well she's probably just a chip off the block
You know like coffee in a coffee pot
Well at least she can get away for a while
And get some sun on that yacht

She never knew no better than to follow her nose
So I ask for your forgiveness 'cause I'm part of the show
Now she's gone and all she's left with is a house full of clothes
Sometimes, madam it's okay to cry

If I die a lonely death
I'm sure it's from the cigarettes
I smoked each day after you left me
Standing all alone

Alone in my park avenue apartment
That smelled fresh and new
The extra set of keys from you
Are going to the maid

The maid has been my only friend.
She's always there to apprehend
The dust and grime that settles in
Around the crystal vase

The crystal vase, a wedding gift
That through the years, has made the shift
What once held flowers, now holds ash
From my two packs a day