I Went down the local pub the other night
A pint of mild there in me sight
Up approached a southern geezer
he Said
"Have a Bacardi Breezer"
I said I hope your joking son that's not right

Singing Bitter, Lager, Cider, Ale Stouts
Designers drink, I'd rather drink nwt
You can keep your white wine spritzer
babycham for your sister
Order that in Lancashire son and your out

I took Jean to Pig & Albert for us tea
When some bloke ordered WKD
Well I didn't know what for do
When Big Frank ordered Malibu
I tried explain to Jean
She just couldn't see

(She's partially sighted, registered disabled)

Singing Bitter, Lager, Cider, Ale Stouts
Designer drinks, I'd rather drink nwt
You can keep your white wine spritzer
babycham for your sister
Order that in Lancashire son and your out

Everywhere I turn I see these Alcopops
The kids are drinking 'em
Hanging round the shops
I should be their babysitter
I could get 'em onto bitter
no more ASBO's
It's just barley, wheat and hobs

Singing Bitter, Lager, Cider, Ale Stouts
Designer drinks, I'd rather drink nwt
You can keep your white wine spritzer
babycham for your sister
Order that in Lancashire son and your out

Singing Bitter, Lager, Cider, Ale Stouts
Designer drinks, I'd rather drink nwt
You can keep your white wine spritzer
babycham for your sister
Order that in Lancashire son and your out

Please drink in moderation