Where'd the control to my TV go,
It's the witness to the world but a nuisance to my soul,
Where'd the control to my TV go,
Trisha's on the telly man, I don't wanna know,
Just how low this country can go

Where'd the control to my TV go,
This boxer's in prison without parole,
Where'd the control to my TV go,
The weather girl forecasts rain and snow,
But outside my window, sunshine glows

Where's my control,
Where's my control, my control

I stick my hand down my settee,
And I get stuck I can't get free,
All I find's a measly 50p

And now I'm stuck on my settee,
With one hand free and shit TV,
And I can't quite reach my cup of tea

Where's my control,
Where's my control, my control

Where'd my control go, I don't know,
Where'd my control go, I don't know,
Where, I don't know where

BBC and ITV, they're meant to educate their PSBs,
I might as well watch QVC

QVC's alright with me, it's got exactly what I need,
A brand new control for my TV

Where's my control,
Where's my control, my control (x2)

Where'd my control go, I don't know,
Where'd my control go, I don't know,
Where, I don't know where

Where'd my control go, I don't know, (where'd my control to my TV go)
Where'd my control go, I don't know, (where'd my control to my TV go)
Where, I don't know where