Please allow me to introduce myself
I'm a man of wealth and taste
I've been around for a long, long year
Stole many a man's soul to waste
I was around when Jesus Christ
Had his moment of doubt and pain
Made damn sure that Pilate
Washed his hands and sealed his fate

Pleased to meet you, I hope you guess my name
But what's puzzling you is the nature of my game

I stuck around St. Petersburg
When I saw it was a time for a change
Killed the Czar and his ministers
Anastasia screamed in vain
I rode a tank, held a general's rank
When the Blitzkrieg raged and the bodies stank
Oh

Pleased to meet you, I hope you guess my name
But what's puzzling you is the nature of my game

I watched with glee while your kings and queens
Fought for ten decades for the gods they made
I shouted out: Who killed the Kennedys?
Well, after all, it was you and me
Let me please introduce myself
I'm a man of wealth and taste
And I laid traps for troubadours
Who get killed before they reach Bombay

Pleased to meet you, I hope you guess my name
But what's confusing you is the nature of my game

Just as every cop is a criminal
And all the sinners saints
As heads is tails, just call me Lucifer
'Cause I'm in need of some restraint
So if you meet me, have some courtesy
Have some sympathy, and some taste
Use all your well-learned politesse
Or I'll lay your fucking soul to waste

Pleased to meet you, I hope you guess my name
But what's puzzling you is the nature of my game