"Welcome to the carnival of the dysfunctional and the despaired"

Mirrors covered my hopes for endless mournful hours, hours of staring into me
As time passes in circles, surrounding fields of trust - faithless I'll drown - free
I wish my fingers to bleed from a touch of grace
I wish my eyes to be wounded by a broken glass
Passionate to paint my dreams in daylight, beyond the fields of grief a path
Withered as your bright world, count dead hours under neurotic spark
To be heard in silence
To be embraced in the nights

Sometimes I feel I'm drowning
In this sea of despair and lust,
With salty tears like pilgrims
I'm witnessing my own demise,
Passionate to cross this border,
To come free at once,
To throw myself into the fire,
Immortal, I'll become one with the dust
Forgive me as I'm losing
I'm almost there… I'm coming - almost touching - so real - so close -
So much for fighting this psychotic state of mine

Do you know how it feels to be awakened as water covers my eyes?