I didn't go outside today
and I smoked twenty cigarettes today
and I've been kind of high
all day

I'm getting closer
to doing what I did yesterday
except today
I have less money

My cat has scabs all over his skin
He might have fleas
He might just be a masochist
and he don't know how much of a symbol
he has become for me

Me and my roomie
we like South Park and The Simpsons
We eat Chinese
We download massive amounts of music
illegally

And that makes us pirates
Har-dee, Har-dee Har.

But seriously
Wouldn't you want to be
a pirate on the high seas?
Doin' shit, like lookin' for gold

We could rape and kill
everyone we se
We could pillage a village
together!