Wax the monkey, shave the bear
Jungle-creatures won't be fed in here
Trim the hedges, cut the trees
Then you'll know how affection feels

Shave the monkey, wax the bear
Such hairy creatures cannot stay in here
Trim the hedges, and trim the tree
Who is there hiding in the shrubbery?

Where there's a hole there is an ace
I will put a smile on your grumpy face

(Beefcake vegetarian
We're oiled, refined and slightly tan
If we're the heat wave then you're the fan
And now we'll gladly carry out the garbage-can
We're fifty something, well-aged wine
If you're wooden in your cask that's just fine)

I'll be your garland queen of Lace
The Sleeping Beauty in our maze
Oh, fifty something well aged win
Me, the wooden cask, that's fine
I know you like me to watch you piss
You're only waiting to be kissed
You're such a beauty to behold
Here comes a shower and it's made of gold

I'm a flower, water me
Let's build a castle by the sea
You're like the sun-shine, morning breeze
The sun shines warm on your disease
Such pollen makes the black birds sneeze

Who is there sitting on your back?
There is no need for a sneak attack
If you're monastic to my bliss
Then I will be faithful like syphilis

Oh God! Poor friar dreaming in his cell(s)
He knows the art of tonsure well
And all the songs a blade can sing
Sugh is the Easter that I bring
The bells are chiming in (y)our vaults
I am the goddess that unfolds
Iconic beauty, as yet unseen
If you're only courting, the Virgin Queen

So: Wax the monkey, shave the bear
Jungle-creatures cannot come in here
Trim the hedges and cut the trees
Then you'll know how affection feels