i tried to act as if i cared. i tried to act as if i didn't want to get out. i wasn't careful what i asked for and i got it but i hung on for 21 months. 49 days sitting, standing, not sleeping and going crazy in a corner. 49 days, my balls turned to brass and i finally won out. i did 21 months. the 21 strangest months i've ever lived. i think about all the sick things that i said, and what i did, and what was done to me and through it all i grew strong. made my stand; learned to live. i still live what i learned in 21 months.