Bobby Brady's dealing crack
Marsha's on the pill
Mike's in bed with Alice
And Sam sell dog-chops at his meat shop
Greg is trying on garter belts
And Peter spent 3 nights in jail
Murder in the Brady house
Because Jan Brady couldn't stand it
Murder in the Brady house
Things were just too great
Murder in the Brady house
Someone had to break
Cindy called Jan a stinker
For playing ball inside the house
She tattlelated while Alice kissed
The postman on the mouth
Blood is on the TV screen
And guts are on the stairs
Murder in the Brady house
and no one even cares
Murder murder murder murder murder murder