I was taking a walk during my lunch break, and came across a man in a dirty brown jacket covered with many political bumper stickers that had contradicting slogans. He looked me right in the eye, and then he said:

Keep it down, the FBI is watching me
They bugged my lunchbox because I know their filthy schemes
They're going door to door and taking everybody's jobs
The CIA gave me LSD

Political bum, Political bum
He's got his opinions and a bottle of rum.
He used to be a hippie now he lives on the streets
Striking up debates with everyone that he meets.

Political bum

I tried to get away, but he followed me, holding up his sign that said, "Will eat for food." My avoidance seemed to fuel his passion, and I braced myself for another barrage of confusing rhetoric.

I lost my balls to a bomb in Koreatnam
They have sex tape Kim Jon Ill and Uncle Sam
Mountain Dew is a fundamental human right
You sank my partisanship

The sun was beginning to set at this point, and I could tell that he was just getting warmed up. Insane or not, you had to admire his dedication to his ideals. Whatever they are.

Tinfoil helmet is protecting my brain waves
The DMV is run by alien sex slaves
911 was an upside job
Somebody kill the fucking whales

Republican or Democrat, you can't really tell
But your eyes start to water when you notice the smell

You won't never get me back on a plane
I caught herpes from the TSA
JFK shot Abraham Lincoln
Somebody give me some change

I see him on the corner almost everyday
I think he takes his showers at the YMCA