There's a great big fuss 'cause Katie Couric's leaving NBC
But the only news woman we fuss about is dear old Kristi Lee
Maybe we can try to spell it out to help you see

"K" is for the old Australian kangaroo
'cause I jump around "Down Under" every time I think of you

"R" 'cause you're remarkable, a rare and precious gift
And also for "restraining order" that I wish you'd lift

"I" is information and the news that you convey
And also for my "eye" that you adorned with pepper spray

"S" is for your sultry, sexy voice I hear each day
And the spotting scope I watch you through from half a mile away

"T" is all the tears I shed from love and pepper spray
The other "I" is for my other eye, which you also pepper sprayed

Put them all together and you get "Kristi"
And once she hears this song, I know she'll finally sleep with me
(I'm not picky, just a quickie, Kristi, won't you sleep with me…)