Little Billy Williams, walking on a beach
Tried to get a coconut, but it was out of reach
He jumped and he stretched and he tried to climb the tree
But he fell back on the sand, just as sad as he could be

Old Keith Richards came stumbling along
And he said, "[unintelligible]"
He put down his fifth of Stoli and he started up the tree
Saying, "[unintelligible]"

Go, Keith, go
Climb, Keith, climb
Billy wants a coconut to mix it with the lime
Climb, Keith, climb
Go, Keith, go
Go and get the coconut for Billy down below

The aging British rocker got halfway up the tree
But he wasn't quite as nimble as he used to be
Years of smack and bourbon had worn away his bones
And so lost his grip, and he dropped just like a stone

Drop, Keith, drop
Fall, Keith, fall
You'll get concussion, in no time at all
Fall, Keith, fall
Drop, Keith, drop
Fallin' on your coconut with a big "ker-plop!"