If I was a boy
Boy wouldn't it be super
Then I could walk around
In long pants every day
And come home late at night
No swinging dick would make
A federal case out of it
Things wouldn't be half as tough
If I was a boy.

Only when Tino, Tino, Tino kisses me
And when Tino, Tino is sweet to me
With Tino, Tino, Tino I figure
It's great to be a little piccolina, bambina, si-sina signorina.

It I was a boy
With a motorcycle
I'd soon be known
All over town
I figure I'd make
A pretty good center forward
Down at the soccer club
That's about how I'd be I guess
If I was a boy.

If I was a boy
I'd know oh so well
Just what a boy does for love
I'd get into the gay scene
I'd shake up all those sexy studs
I'd have action enough
If I was a boy.