Places with culture are always so dirty
Culture emits and spits its residue on the streets
Violence goes hand-in-hand along with the beauty
It isn't pretty so I'm going to leave

Let's move to Florida, we can all be tanned and pretty
Where people don't seem to know what's happening at all
Oh, lets move to Florida, they call Tampa a city
And all roads lead to the mall

Oh, I'll miss the theatre and all those museums
Ah! there's plenty of acting going on wherever you go
And if you miss the feel of long ago, you don't have to worry
You can always bump into someone who is old
Or they'll bump in you with their car, or their boat
Always bump into someone who is close to a hundred years old

Oh, let's move to Florida, we can all be tanned and pretty
Where people don't seem to know what's happening at all
Oh, lets move to Florida, get to know Mickey and Mini
And all roads lead to the mall

Oh, I'll collect seashells and turn them into lamp lights
And send them all to all my friends in New York and L.A.
They'll feel sorry for me but what they don't know is
That I'm the one who is running away

Oh, I've move to Florida, where we can all be tanned and pretty
Where people don't seem to know what's happening at all
Oh, lets move to Florida, they call Tampa a city
And all roads lead to the mall