So welcome back to this metal attack
With a human losing their soul tonight, that's a fact!
They cannot scream, they cannot hope or dream
Tonight's proceedings do not work like that!

I'm so sorry!

Good doctor, do not be!
It's the chance of a lifetime to get to see me!
Now sit down, little one, this is going to be fun!
You will be a star, then you'll burn like one!

Now let's see my name in lights, my dear
You'll wish you'd be up there with me
Hope you put up a good fight, my dear
No one's stopped this celebrity!

Please keep calm, there's no 'cause for alarm
He's a really sweet guy, though he means you harm

I've got style, I've got grace, and you're such a disgrace
That it won't be long until you buy the farm!
Don't even try, I am such a swell guy

I just don't think it's right to make a little kid cry!

No one asked you, Alphys, we're rolling, quiet please!
It's the role of a lifetime
tonight, they die!

Now please don't be afraid, my dear!
You're swell, you're fab, and I'm beauty
They'll throw me a huge parade, my dear!
Once machinery kicks your booty!

Okay, just, just calm down!
I made Mettaton, I know how to work around him!
All you have to do is-

Uh, uh, uh doctor!
No cheating!

No no no, doctor, this is my show
And we can't have you interfere!
Stick around, come and watch tonight's show
Same time, same channel, I'll be here!

Come call me when you want actual dramatic tension!
Have a nice pilot!
Goodbye!