I could hear you coming, so I hid by the couch
You were talking so loudly, I don't know what about
But you were drunker than high school
Self-conscious and sweet
I never ever felt so cool disguised in your sheets

But I'm a constant headache, a tooth out of line
They try to make you regret it
You tell them, "No, not this time"
I'm just a constant headache, a dead pet device
You hang me up, unfinished
With the better part of me no longer mine

And then you finally found me, pretending to sleep
You said such nice things about me, I felt guilty and cheap
You took two steps to the kitchen and just stared at the sink
I couldn't hold back a smile, I still wish I could have seen you
Having sex in the morning, your love was foreign to me
It made me think maybe human is not such a bad thing to be
But I just lay there in protest, entirely fucked
It's such a stubborn reminder one perfect night's not enough

It's just a constant headache, a tooth out of line
They try to make you regret it
You tell them, "No, not this time"
It's just a constant headache, a dead pet device
You hang me up, unfinished
With the better part of me no longer mine