Father's very noisy with his 'bines
Said they're all the same it makes you sick
Need a bleeding boot up their behinds
That would bloody shift them double quick

Father drops his toffee after tea
All them monkey's sprouting their advice
Bleeding, bloody berks, believe you me
Twenty times as much for half the price

In the kitchen, mother
The kettle's got a hard-on (father)
You can't call this dripping
It hasn't got no lard on (father)

(father, father, father, father)

Father's in the khazi half-an-hour
"What's it all about?", is what I think
Shove them all inside the bloody Tower
Blinking, bloody, bleeding sodding pink

In the kitchen, mother
The kettle's got a hard-on (father)
You can't call this dripping
It hasn't got no lard on (father)

(father, father, father, father)

Hahahahaha
Hahahahaha
Hahahahaha
Hahahahaha
Hahahahaha

Father's drops his toffee after tea
"What's it all about?", is what I think
Bleeding load of berks, believe you me
Shove them all inside the blinking clink

Get them off your mother
And see what's on the telly
The buttons on your nightie
Are getting on my nelly