Brian, top marks for not tryin'
So kind of you to bless us with your effortlessness
We're grateful and so strangely comforted

And I wonder, are you puttin' us under?
'Cause we can't take our eyes off the t-shirt and ties combination
Well, see you later, innovator

Some want to kiss, some want to kick you
There's not a net you couldn't slip through
Or at least that's the impression I get
'Cause you're smooth and you're wet
And she's not aware yet, but she's yours

She'll be sayin' use me, show me the jacuzzi
I imagine that it's there on a plate
Your rendezvous rate means that you'll never be frightened to make them wait for a while

I doubt it's your style not to get what you set out to acquire
The eyes are on fire, you are the unforecasted storm

(Brian) Calm, collected, and commandin'
(Top marks for not tryin') You made the other stories standin'
With your renditions and jokes
Bet there's hundreds of blokes that have wept cause you've stolen their... thunder

Are you puttin' us under
'Cause we can't take our eyes off the t-shirt and ties combination
Well, see you later, innovator