How d'you do, I see you've met my faithful handyman
He's just a little brought down cause when you knocked
He thought you were the candyman.
Don't get strung out by the way I look,
Don't judge a book by its cover
I'm not much of a girl by the light of day,
But by night I'm one hell of a lover

I'm just a sweet transvestite from Sensational Transylvania.

Let me show you around, maybe play you a sound
You look like you're both pretty groovy
Or if you want something visual that's not too abysmal
We could take in an old Steve Reeves movie.

Well, you got caught with a flat, well, how about that?
Well babies, don't you panic.
By the light of the night when it all seems alright
I'll get you a satanic mechanic.

I'm just a sweet transvestite from Sensational Transylvania.

Why don't you stay for the night? Or maybe a bite?
I could show you my favourite obsession.
I've been making a man with blond hair and a tan
And he's good for relieving my tension

I'm just a sweet transvestite from Sensational Transylvania.
I'm just a sweet transvestite from Sensational Transylvania.

So come up to the lab. And see what's on the slab.
I see you shiver with antici... pation!
But maybe the rain isn't really to blame
So I'll remove the cause, but not the symptom.