I told you to switch over to BBC 1
To teach you about love and such under the sun
All you could do was cry
When you saw that he couldn't even sigh...

(BRIDGE)
In the first division
There's a little boy
In a mental prison
With a speakin' toy

(CHORUS)
The boy is wrecked
The boy is checked
The boy is decked
The boy is necked

He tries to tell you she said yes
But all he can do is press 'let's go, oh yes'
Pain is all around him
And he can't even move a limb

(BRIDGE & CHORUS)

He's a little bit dumb, a little bit silly,
A little bit messed up, a little bit accident prone,
In fact, he's a fucking div and he's just like me!