I saw it officer,
It looked prehistoric ...

There's a monster in my pants
And it does a nasty dance
When it moves in and out
Everybody starts to shout

Monster, aaaah monster, aaaah
Get outta here monster!
Monster! monster!
Get outta here monster!

There's a monster in my pants
And it does a naughty dance
When it sees the light of day
You can here the people say

Oh no, a monster! oh no, a monster!
Oh no, oh no, oh no a giant monster
Monster! monster!
Oh no, a giant monster!

Shut the window, bolt the door!
Don't wanna see that monster no more!

There's a monster in my pants
And it does a modern dance
When it comes into a room
People hit it with a broom

Take that monster! take that monster!
Take it! take it! take that you awful thing!
Take that aaah! take that aaah!
Take it! take it! take that you naughty thing!

And they don't wear pants on the other side of france
But they do wear fleece to protect them from the beasts

Monster! monster! oh gee, a great big monster

There's a monster on the run and it wants to have have some fun
When it flies hup in the air, all the people stop and stare
The guys give a yell and the girls start to shriek
When they see its giant claws and it razor sharp beak

Gosh would you look at that thing
And I thought dinosaurs were extinct

Aaaaah!