Puberty's gonna get me
No way to stop it now
I offer a plea, "Just let me be"
But puberty says, "No how"
I'm just a ball of pimples and zits
I'm feeling funny inside
Puberty's gonna get me
And there's nowhere to run or to hide
Two years ago all my skin was clear
Nothing's the same as it used to be
Now that I'm growing, I'm watching Fox
'Cause I'm too old to watch ABC
In my pants there's a lot of hair
Growing as if to spite me
My scrotum looks just like a werewolf
I'm scared that it might try to bite me
Oh...

Puberty's gonna get me
There's nothing I can do
There's no one to blame for all my shame
And no one that I can sue
After I turned from twelve to thirteen
Oh how I wish I had died
Puberty's gonna get me
And there's nowhere to run or to hide
When I was younger I hated girls
They were too gushy and soft and cute
Now when I see one my legs get week
And my wang makes a Hitler salute
Once I used to like Sheryl Crow
She was talented and plucky
But now that I'm older and wiser
I see that she's just really lucky
Oh...

Puberty's gonna get me
I'm just completely screwed
I beg and I say, "Please go away"
And bother some other dude
Everyone says, "Hey, don't be a spaz
"Just try and take it in stride"
Puberty's gonna get me
I can feel it deep down inside
I'm covered with fuzz
And I'm crying because
There's nowhere to run