Announcer:
Meet Eddie, 23 years old.
Fed up with life,
and the way things are going,
he decides to rob a liquor store
(I can't take this no more, I can't take it no more, homes)
But on his way in,
he has a sudden change of heart.
And suddenly,
his conscience comes into play
(Shit is mine, I gotta do this...gotta do this)

Dr. Dre: Alright, stop! (Huh?)
Now before you walk in the door
Of this liquor store
And try to get money out the drawer
You'd better think of the consequence (But who are you?)
I'm your motherfuckin' conscience

Eminem: That nonsense.
Go in and gaffle the money,
and run to one of your aunt's cribs.
And borrow her damn dress
And one of her blonde wigs.
Tell her you need a place to stay
You'll be safe for days
If you shave your legs
With Rene's razor blade

Dr. Dre: Yeah, but if it all goes through
Like it's supposed to
The whole neighbourhood knows you
And they'll expose you.
Think about before you walk in the door first.
Look at the store clerk,
She's older then George Burns.

Eminem: Fuck that.
Do that shit.
Shoot that bitch
Can you afford to blow this shit?
Are you that rich?
Why you give a fuck if she dies?
Are you that bitch?
You really think *she* gives a fuck
If you have kids?

Dr. Dre: Man, don't do it.
It's not worth it
To risk it. (You're right)
Not over this shit. (Stop)
Drop the biscuit. (I will)
Don't even listen to Slim, yo.
He's bad for you. (Eminem: You know what, Dre?
I don't like your attitude.)

[sound of static]
("It's all right, c'mon, just come in here for a minute")
("Mmm, I don't know")
("Look, baby...")
("Damn!")
("Yo, it's gonna be all right, right?")
("Well, okay...")

Announcer:
Meet Stan, 21 years old (Give me a kiss)
After meeting a young girl at a rave party,
thing's start getting hot and heavy in an upstairs bedroom.
Once again, his conscience comes into play...(Shit!)

Eminem: Now listen to me.
While you're kissin' her cheek
And smearin' her lipstick, slip this in her drink.
Now all you gotta do is nibble on this little bitch'searlobe...
(Dr. Dre: Yo, this girl's only 15 years old.
You shouldn't take advantage of her,
That's not fair.)
Yo, look at her bush...Does it got hair? (Uh-huh.)
Fuck this bitch right here on the spot bare.
'Till she passes out
And she forgot how she got there.
(Dr. Dre: Man, ain't you ever seen that one movie Kids?)
No, but I seen a porno with some SunDoobiest!.
(Dr. Dre: Shit, you wanna get hauled off to jail?)
Man, fuck that,
Hit that shit raw dawg and bail...

[sound of static]
[pickup idling, radio playing]

Announcer:
Meet Grady, a 29 year-old construction worker.
After coming home from a hard day's work,
He walks in the door of his trailer park home
To find his wife in bed with another man.
(Grady:WHAT THE FUCK?!?!)

Dr. Dre: Alright, calm down.
Relax, start breathin'...

Eminem: Fuck that shit.
You just caught this bitch cheatin'.
While you at work, she's with some dude
Tryin' to get off?
Fuck slittin' her throat!
CUT THIS BITCHE'S HEAD OFF!!!

Dr Dre: Wait, What if there's an explanation for this shit.
(Eminem: What? She tripped? Fell? Landed on his dick?!)
Alright, Shady.
Maybe he's right, Grady.
But think about the baby
Before you get all crazy.

Eminem: Okay! thought about it,
Still wanna stab her?
Grab her by the throat,
Get you're daughter and kidnap her?
That's what I did.
Be smart, don't be a retard.
You gonna take advice from somebody who slapped DEE BARNES?

Dr. Dre: What did you say?
(Eminem: What's wrong?
Didn't think I'd remember?)
I'ma kill you, motherfucker!

Eminem: Ah-ah,
Temper, temper!
Mr. Dre?
Mr. N.W.A?
Mr. AK coming straight outta Compton
Y'all better make way?
How in the fuck you gonna tell this man not to be violent?

Dr. Dre: Cuz he don't need to go the same route that I went.
Been there, done that...Aw, fuck it...What am I sayin'?
Shoot 'em both, Grady, where's your gun at?

[gun fires, is cocked, and refired]