(Alternate Slower Version, Submitted by Craig Ciccone)

The family circle gathers 'round from very far and near
To pass around the same remarks they passed away last year
The little girl you dangled on your knee without mishap
Stirs something in your memory and something in your lap

(Chorus)
The juniper berry has a very deadly kiss
I would say that something here is very much amiss
But it's a living and this is the life
For the world and his wife
The world and his wife

The kissing cousins step outside to cuddle and confess
She says sweet nothing at all, it's much more of a mess
She says, "Our Mother and someone else's Father
Went for two weeks holiday in Tarmasalata."
Daddy went out the rubbish and he kept on walking
Between Mum and the walls, God only knows who does the talking

Chorus

The conversation melts like chocolate down our open jaws
Through the loud appeal of laughter and the counting of [?]
And later on in the evening, through the tears and fol de rol
Come the sentimental feelings for the lure of vitriol
Longing thoughts go hankering for the old home overseas
With a blindfold and a national anthem sung in different keys