If walls could talk then I'm sure you'd hear
A whole lot of things that would make you cry, my dear
So ain't you glad, ooh, ain't you glad
That walls don't talk
No they never talk

If doors could tell who turned the knobs
When he's away, working on his job
Now ain't you glad, oh, you ought to be glad
That doors don't talk
No, they don't

You know, if cars could say just who's been inside
And exactly whom has been taken for a ride
Now ain't you glad, I know you ought to be glad
That cars don't talk
Oh no, they don't talk

- harmonica & guitar "duett" -

If shoes could tell, tell where they've been
When you claim that you were visiting a friend
Now ain't you glad, oh ain't you glad
That shoes don't talk
No, they just walk

Well, in a world of trouble we'd be if things ever told on me
My love life would be through 'cos I'm guilty, how about you?
If things ever talked that way
Ain't no telling what they might say
So ain't you glad, everybody ought to be glad
That things don't talk
I tell you, they don't talk about you

Oh I'm so glad
I'm so very glad
That things don't talk

...?