Last night I heard somebody say
Somebody told me you were gay
At first I thought they must be wrong
Then I caught you singing Elton John
And I thought that was strange

If you were gay
That would change everything
Instead of going out for beers
Will we start going out for tea?
If you were gay
Tell me what would that mean?
Did you think this whole time we hung out we were dating?

I finally got the courage to ask
Have you been checking out my ass?
You laughed and told me I was wrong
Then admitted that you liked Elton John
And I knew you were strange

If you were gay
That would change everything
Instead of going out for beers
Will we start going out for tea?
If you were gay
Tell me what would that mean?
Did you think this whole time we hung out we were dating?

Is it possible you just turned around?
Did you just toss yourself into the lost and found?
Is it possible you just turned around?
Did you just toss yourself into the lost and found?

Well since that day I’ve heard a lot
Heard you were gay
But I’m glad you're not!
(Not that there’s anything wrong with it)