What did you mean when you said you were sorry?
I'm a bit confused
I think you are all for wrecking my guitar
But you don't think you do

I found a guy who fixed for twelve hundred bucks
But you tell me that you’re sorry
And it's my tough luck
United sees no need to make anything right

Oh, Mrs. Irlwig!
We don't need to fight
If you just come to your senses
Accept the consequences

Of you letting certain baggage handlers
Smash my property
We could be best buddies
But our friendship has been muddied

By a flawed United Airline policy
I sense tone in your last couple emails
Why is that the case?
Is it that I've got questions

You've got the answers
You don't wanna face
You've gonne dark and silent as a submarine
Leaving me hanging like Apollo thirteen

Adrift in space alone with no ending side
Oh, Mrs. Irlwig way!
We don't need to fight
If you just come to your senses

Accept the consequences
Of you letting certain baggage handlers
Smash my property
We could be best buddies

But our friendship has been muddied
By a flawed United Airline policy
If you just come to your senses
Accept the consequences

Of you letting certain baggage handlers
Smash my property
We could be best buddies
But our friendship has been muddied
By a flawed United Airline policy