Cathy drinks baby cham
In a lead-lined window
It's caravan
She watches the 100 Greatest
TV Hits of '99

Trevor drinks when he can
In the clubhouse on a Wednesday
With his mum
For free games of bingo
And a fat stand-up with a covers band

Isn't it good to be free?
But no-one knows what freedom means
Oh, they want a honey
To tow their caravan far away
Oh, they want somebody
To make their caravan rock and sway

Cathy doesn't understand
How she reached the age of 50
Without a man
But she's got hobbies
She's got a life and a fake suntan

Trevor kisses his mum
Tucks her into bed
And she says, "Son
You should be getting laid
Instead of playing bingo with me"

Isn't it good to be free?
But no-one knows what freedom means
Oh, they want a honey
To tow their caravan far away
Oh, they want somebody
To make their caravan rock and sway