I can't help you. How can I help you if I can not help myself? The questions that you have are ages old.
The answers that I've found are mine alone. Now you're faced with one thousand faces.

All your own, each one alone.
Time is what you're wasting, looking for answers in the wrong places. Taken over by thoughts of what's above and below.
If you're looking for something, look in front of you.

Don't look to the sky for the truth.
Don't look to the sky for the proof.
My feet stand on solid ground.
That's the only certainty I've found.
I look down at the bricks for the proof, so I don't look to the sky for the truth.