[Mrs. VanDort]
It's a beautiful day

[Mr. VanDort]
It's a rather nice day

[Mrs. VanDort]
A day for a glorious wedding

[Mr. VanDort]
A rehearsal, my dear, to be perfectly clear

[Mrs. VanDort]
A rehearsal for a glorious wedding

[Mr. VanDort]
Assuming nothing happens that we don't really know

[Mrs. VanDort]
That nothing unexpected interferes with the show

[Mr. & Mrs. VanDort]
And that's why everything, every last little thing
Every single tiny microscopic little thing must go

[Mrs. VanDort]
According to plan

[Mr. VanDort]
Our son will be married

[Mrs. VanDort]
According to plan

[Mr. VanDort]
Our family carried

[Mr. & Mrs. VanDort]
We'll go right into to the heights of society

[Mrs. VanDort]
To the costume balls

[Mr. VanDort]
In the hallowed halls

[Mrs. VanDort]
Rubbing elbows with the finest

[Mr. VanDort]
Having crumpets with her highness

[Mr. & Mrs. VanDort]
We'll be there, we'll be seen, having tea with the queen
We'll forget everything that we've ever ever been

[Mrs. Everglot]
It's a terrible day

[Mr. Everglot]
Now don't be that way

[Mrs. Everglot]
It's a terrible day for a wedding

[Mr. Everglot]
It's a sad, sad state of affairs we're in

[Mrs. Everglot]
That has led to this ominous wedding

[Mr. Everglot]
How could our family have come to this?

[Mr. & Mrs. Everglot]
To marry off our daughter to the noveaux-rich

[Mrs. Everglot]
They're so common

[Mr. Everglot]
So coarse

[Mrs. Everglot]
Oh, it couldn't be worse!

[Mr. Everglot]
It couldn't be worse? I'm afraid I disagree
It could be land-rich bankrupt aristocracy
Without a penny to their name, just like you and me

[Mrs. Everglot]
Oh, dear

[Mr. & Mrs. Everglot]
And that's why everything, every last little thing
Every single tiny microscopic little thing must go

[Mrs. Everglot]
According to plan

[Mr. Everglot]
Our daughter will wed

[Mrs. Everglot]
According to plan

[Mr. Everglot]
Our family lead

[Mr. & Mrs. Everglot]
From the depths of deepest poverty

[Mrs. Everglot]
To the noble realm

[Mr. Everglot]
Of our ancestors

[Mr. & Mrs. Everglot]
And who'd have guessed in a million years that our daughter, with the face

[Mr. Everglot]
Of an otter in disgrace

[Mr. & Mrs. Everglot]
Would provide our ticket to our rightful place?

[Victoria]
What if Victor and I don't like each other?

[Mrs. Everglot]
Do you suppose your father and I like each other?

[Victoria]
Surely you must a little

[Mr. & Mrs. Everglot]
Of course not!

[Mrs. Everglot]
Get those corsets laced properly, I can hear you speak without gasping
Marriage is a partnership. A little tit-for-tat
You'd think a lifetime watching us might have taught her that
Might have taught her that

[Mr. Everglot]
Everything must be perfect

[Mrs. Everglot]
Everything must be perfect

[Mr. Everglot]
Everything must be perfect

[Mr. & Mrs. Everglot]
Everything must be perfect, perfect

[The VanDorts and the Everglots]
That's why everything, every last little thing
Every single tiny microscopic little thing must go according to plan!