The "secret service" makes me nervous
When I am dating they are waiting to observe us
When I get ready to hold steady for the "kiss" you plan
The "secret service" makes me nervous and I cant!

Theyre always spying, no denying
Theyre always peeping, gumshoe creeping, private eying
When Im beginning to give-inning like a maiden aunt
The "secret service" makes me nervous and I cant!

Ive been exposed beyond control
Just like a "goldfish" in a bowl!

The presidents daughter must drink water
No drink of "scotch" she might do what she hadnt otter
When Im ignited, so excited that I start to "pant"
The "secret service" makes me nervous
When my lamps are lit
And I say "this is it!"

. . . the "secret service" makes me nervous
And I cant!

The "secret service" makes me nervous
Those white house "dicks" get all their kicks
When they observe us!
Just as I wind up, make my mind up, not to say "i wont"
The "secret service" makes me nervous and I dont!

When things look "rosy" they get nosy
Theyll say theres "tootsie" playing "footsie" very cosy
My pulse goes higher, Im on fire, shakin at the knees
The "secret service" makes me nervous and I freeze!

Whatever I may do or say
Will be reported the next day!
They dont see clearly when Im merely being courted
When Im just "necking" simply "pecking" with a "cary grant"
They stand behind me to remind me "who" and "what" I am
. . . when I dont give a "? x? x" ( ooh ahh ahh! )

The "secret service" makes me nervous and I cant!