Well when you're down on your luck and you ain't got a buck

In London, you're a goner.

Even London Bridge has fallen down
And moved to Arizona, now I know why
And I'll substantiate the rumor that the English sense of humor
Is drier than the Texas sand

You can put up your dukes, or you can bet your boots
But I'm leavin' as fast as I can.
(chorus) I want to go home with the Armadilla'
Good country music from Amarilla' and Abilene
The friendliest people and the prettiest women you've ever seen.

Well, it's cold over here, Lord, and I swear
I wish they'd turn the heat on
And where in the world is that English girl
I promised I would meet on the third floor
And of the whole damn lot the only friend I got
Is a smoke and a cheap guitar
My mind keeps rollin' and my heart keeps yearnin'
To be home in a Texas bar.
(repeat chorus)

Well I decided that I'd get my cowboy hat
And go down to Marble Arch Station
'Cause when a Texan fancies he'll take his chances
Chances will be taken, that's for sure
And them Limey eyes, they were eyein' the prize
Some people call manly footwear
And they said "You're from down South"
And when you open your mouth
You always seem to put your foot there.
(repeat chorus)