dear penis,
i dont think i like you anymore,
you used to watch me shave,
now all ya do is stare at the floor,
oh dear penis,
i dont like you anymore.

it used to be you and me,
a paper towel and a dirty magazine,
thats all we needed to get by,
now it seems things have changed,
and i think that youre the one to blame,
dear penis,
i dont like you anymore.

he sings

dear rodney,
i dont think i like you anymore,
cos when you get to drinking,
you put me places ive never been before,
dear rodney,
i dont like you anymore.

why cant we just get a grip,
on our man to hand relationship,
come to terms with truly how we feel,
if we put our heads together,
we'd just stay home forever,
dear penis,
i think i like you after all.

oh and rodney,
while you're shaving, shave my balls