Roxie:
There's only one person who can help you now, Roxie!

Velma:
There only one person you can count on now, Velma!

ANNOUNCER:
And now, Miss Roxie Hart and Miss Velma Kelly sing a song
of unrelenting determination and unmitigated ego.

Roxie:
One thing I know

Velma:
One thing I know

Roxie:
And I've always known

Velma:
And I've always known

Roxie:
I am my own

Velma:
I am my own

Roxie & Velma:
Best friend

Roxie:
Baby's alive

Velma:
Baby's alive

Roxie:
But baby's alone

Velma:
But baby's alone

Roxie:
And baby's her own

Velma:
And baby's her own

Roxie & Velma:
Best friend
Many's the guy
Who told me he cares
But they were scratchin' my back
'Cause I was scratchin' theirs

Roxie:
And trusting to luck

Velma:
And trusting to luck

Roxie:
That's only for fools

Velma:
Only for fools

Roxie:
I play in a game

Velma:
I play in a game

Roxie & Velma:
Where I make the rules
And rule number one
From here to the end
Is 'I am my own best friend'

Three musketees
Who never say die
Are standing here this minute

Velma:
Me

Roxie:
Me

Velma:
Myself

Roxie:
Myself

Velma:
And I!

Roxie:
And I!

Velma & Roxie:
If life is a school
I'll pass every test
If life is a game
I'll play it the best
'Cause I won't give in
and I'll never bend
and I am my own best friend!