I sit here watching Oprah on my colour TV.
Eating all the twinkies I can stuff into me.
Notice as I sit here I am growing quite fat.
I'm just like all the others, what's the matter with that?

The isn't any problem that I'm grotesquely huge.
It isn't like I want to do the Olympic huge.
Maybe once a week I go to Walmart to shop.
for corn chips, peanut butter and soda pop.

Eat that Big Mac. Eat that toast.
Eat those Ring Dings. Eat that roast.
Eat my friends. Eat them whole.
Eat good people. Eat their souls.

Eating people is fun.

The woman at the check-out's even bigger than I.
Prob'ly lives on bacon fat and Sara Lee pie.
She's even got a stain of mustard on her beard.
When others look at me do I apper quite as weird?

Four hundred pounds of pure American loser.
That's one-eight-one kg's for you metric users.
It's been twenty-one years since I've seen my feet.
Dieting's a joke, I want to
EAT EAT EAT!