He was only a lavender cowboy,
The hairs on his chest were two,
But he wished to follow the heroes
And fight like the he-men do.

But he was inwardly troubled
By a dream that gave him no rest,
That he'd go with his heroes in action
With only two hairs on his chest.

First he tried many a hair tonic.
'Twas rubbed in on him each night.
But still when he looked in the mirror
Those two hairs were ever in sight.

But with a spirit undaunted
He wandered out to fight,
Just like an old-time knight errant
To win combat for the right.

He battled for Red Nellie's honor
And cleaned out a holdup's nest
He died with his six guns a-smoking
With only two hairs on his chest.