it's so hard for me to tell you how i feel. and i can never say exactly what i mean. you are my nineveh and i've been jonah from the start. and i can't let you make the same mistakes i've made. if for a moment i could overcome my fear i wouldn't have to hide behind this fiction wall. sometimes i wonder how i call myself your friend. a failure to myself. a failure to him. what if i told you. would you reach for him after all. would you fall down to your knees. would you walk away from it all. would you fall down at his feet. and i watch you live in months between the sun. i can't help but feel that i wanted more than this. and still i smile inside and know it's not the end. because the light of hope is brighter than this wall of silence