God bless the chaos, I'm ready to go

Made my provisions written my notes

Too bad that folks remain on the earth

To see me deny no to renew my birth

And even my swallow my sweet one of all

Will be angry and bitter and briefly withdraw

For I've done much protecting and hiding of hardness

The awful emotion I never could bear

I was always afraid to reveal what I'm knowing

Like I have a particular kind of thing growing

Indifference, a bosom ally to despair,

Soaks itself in to the skin and the hair

I keep all my cards at my chest without playing

The ones that I knew I was all this time saving

And rarely refered to it rarely gave clues

That I had the deep sickness I tried not to choose

That I had here inside of me a key to self-knowing

So base and respected neglected and flowing

Perversion and what might be called paranoia

Description defies though the concurrent Joya

And every corpuscle and each fold and wrinkle,

Subknuckels, perception of what's within my vision

And hearing distorting and feeling is lying

But it never succeeds to prevent me from trying