I find numbers to be fascinating
And more specifically than numbers I find statistics so...enlightening
You know, thought-provoking even
So I've gathered some here and these are all 100% true
When you leave this theatre and into the world you can check them
And they will come back because they are true
So, I don't want to blow your mind or anything
But maybe you'll hear one of these and go
"Whoa, I never thought of that!", you know?
So, these are my statistics

Approximately 33.33% of the jonas brothers have diabetes

One in every four kids with the initials a.d.d. Actually has it, and four out of four kids with the initials a.d.h.d. Has an annoying, self-righteous mother who wouldn't just shut the fuck up and take her husband's last name

Here's a fun one. One of every fourty-four u.s. Presidents can dunk. It's fucking millard filmoore, you racists

The average child of sarah palin has 46.2 chromosomes

Can't get angry at the numbers, you know what I mean?

Here's a really interesting one. The average person has one fallopian tube

20% Of the jackson five...too soon

The average penis length is 5-and-a-half inches, and finally, the average penis length of a man who googles "average penis length" is 3-and-a-half inches