Choose From Any Number of Magazines
Who Do You Want to Be?
Billy Idol Or Kool Moe Dee?

If You're Afraid They Might Discover
Your Redneck Past
There Are a Hundred Ways to Cover Your Redneck Past
They'll Never Send You Home

Roots!
The Funny Limbs That Grow Underground
That Keep You From Falling Down
Don't You Think That You'll Need Them Now?

Just Find a Place Where no One Knows Of
Your Redneck Past
Yeah, You Can Easily Dispose of Your Redneck Past
You'll Show Them All Back Home

Désoléje Suis American
Please Cook My Steak Again
Je Suis American
Désoléje Ne Parle Pas Français

Laws Vary From State to State
Getcha Some Books On Tape
Learn About Holes in Space

If You're Afraid They Might Discover
Your Redneck Past
There Are a Hundred Ways to Cover Your Redneck Past
It's Good to Be Back Home